Thursday the 23rd of April saw a lot of hot hot action on the Boursa. A certain minister with a name like 7abib 2albi or something was overheard on his walkie-talkie telling a senior official, who requested anonymity because he was not authorized to speak to TBE, that he had “just touched down in Boursa town.” On hearing that the minister was visiting, one local resident told TBE, “It’s starting to feel like Waziristan up in this bitch.
The visit, originally envisioned as a joyous occasion, quickly turned sour as the minister moved to reframe his visit as being concerned with issues of public health, and specifically soccer-borne diseases such as loud cheering, occasional chanting and concentrations of unhealthy numbers of easily excitable young people. Egyptians have been subject to a cordon sanitaire for the last 28 years, with public health officials characterizing the battle against unhealthy enthusiasm for a measure of freedom as “hardly over.”
Economic conditions, which tend to be a leading indicator of the possibility of marriage at a suitable age, have deteriorated to the point that café soccer-watching has taken over as the proverbial “arkhas leyali” (cheapest night) for many of Cairo’s unmarried youths.
The dens of soccer-watching iniquity having been closed, TBE was set for a quiet evening. However, the brave Boursa coffee slingers had other plans. In a brilliant conceptual move that simultaneously paid homage to Egypt’s wave of labor unrest and subverted its narrative, the youths staged a wildcat work startage. Attempts to quell this insult to authority were ultimately successful, but not before vanguard youths chicken-danced at members of the security forces. Since TBE does most of its Boursa reporting from TBE HQ’s balcony, this article went to press before the objects of this inflammatory chicken dancing could be asked to comment. NB: Chicken dancing in someone’s general direction is considered a grave insult in Arab culture.